Hurry and wait....

We are in this part of the adoption process. You hurry in a blurred madness to get everything done... and then just wait, and wait, and wait.

So where are we exactly?
We have finished our home study and our dossier. We got our fingerprints done a couple weeks ago and should receive our I-71 any day now. Once we submit that to our facilitator, my parents should get an apt within 5 to 7 weeks. So that puts their travel date sometime at the end of April. We are hosting in mid-June, so our time schedule is tight. We are hoping our entire family will be back before the hosting season starts.

While in Ukraine for Global Family Alliance, my mom met a 13 year old girl (now 14) she knew she would be coming back for. This specific child has come in and out of our lives a lot in the last 2 years. The signs were there, and we are so excited about the future.
1) Her name is Alona, the same name of the first Ukrainian girl we fell madly in love with and still host to this day (yes, it's confusing!). They also both live in the same small town.
2) Her birthday is February, so now Jacob is December, I'm November, Joe is January, Alona is February, Jillian is March, and my parents are both in April- the missing birthday month has been filled!
3) Before we decided to host our blonde Alona, we were going to host my future sister Alona. We were told she was going to be adopted so it wouldn't be a good idea to host her. Well, the family never came for her. Her picture was the first little snapshot we sat and looked at when anticipating our first hosting season. We've always felt somewhat connected to her and wondered how she was doing with her new family... that she apparently never had.
4) My mom always thought it would be fun to adopt a child who had completely different strengths than the rest of the family. Jacob is the hands on, artsy one, Joe and I are the academic ones, and Jillian is the free spirit of the family. We are all athletic BUT not musically inclined. What does Alona say she likes to do? Sing and dance. Perfect.

Alona sounded a little nervous and hesitant at first about adoption when our facilitator talked to her about it after my mom returned from Ukraine. This didn't make sense to my mom because she got a completely different vibe when she visited with her. However, at the same time we asked ourselves what sane teenager wouldn't have second thoughts about going to a completely foreign place to live with basically a completely unknown family, and for GOOD? Taking that perpective made things more clear. We later heard that it was mainly provoked by one of the caretakers who was trying to talk her out of it. At this point, we are so emotionally committed to this-- there is no turning back no matter what we face. The room is ready, our hearts are ready, and we can't wait for another Purvis. According to the latest news we've heard, she is very excited and ready as well!

A picture says a 1000 words...

(Picture taken by Nadia)

This picture was taken during a concert that the Boyarka orphanage was putting on for my mom and the other ladies-- I thought it was a beautiful (and sad) picture.

An update on my moms trip to Ukraine

A GREAT picture of Ella and my mom


My mom has been gone for about a week and a half now. I've had the opportunity to talk to her almost everyday through Skype. It has been great to hear how things are going on a day-to-day basis.

Her trip seems to have been really successful on multiple levels so far. She has met some great people, figured out more details of a future adoption, formed great relationships to help our hosting program Global Family Alliance, and also seems to really enjoy learning more about the Ukrainian culture.

Ella didn't realize my mom was going to Ukraine, so she was quite surprised when she was approached by the other kids in the orphanage saying "your American is here." My mom spent a lot of time at the orphanage- doing crafts, playing games, etc. Eventually my mom asked Ella if she wanted to be adopted, Ella said "I don't know, I'm not sure." From the beginning, my family discussed how we would handle that exact situation. For numerous reasons, we decided that we would never try to persuade her (or have someone else). My family understands her uncertainty and is willing to adopt someone else. There are so many other kids that want a family SO bad and we wouldn't want L to change her mind last minute or regret her decision once she was here. Ella is really just not ready.

My mom said Ella became more standoffish towards the end of the trip. I'm not a bit surprised by this. She is the type of girl that will push away anything that makes her feel anything. It's easier to distance yourself from something then to deal with your emotions. It's understandable, she hasn't had anyone in her life to actually trust. It can be hard on us sometimes though.

My mom has been looking for other kids that want a family- there's a 15 year old girl and 12 year old boy that have especially touched her heart. Our intentions were never to adopt 2, especially since Alona may become adoptable later, which would be 3 kids. We are confident there is a plan for us, and are waiting to see how everything unravels.

Tomorrow my mom is going to Northern Ukraine to visit Alona and a couple orphanages up there. I'm so excited to hear about her experiences. I'm sure Alona will be absolutely thrilled to see my mom! I'll add a picture of her onto this blog once I have one!


Here she is while my mom visited her in Ukraine!

My moms in Ukraine!

My mom left early yesterday morning for Ukraine and arrived at 3am our time in Kiev. We talked briefly on skype and she seemed to be in good spirits even after all of that traveling.

In 2008, before we decided to host Alona, we were going to host another little girl named Alona who immediately stole our hearts. We decided that it wasn't a good idea to host her because we found out that she was going to be adopted within the next few months- it would be too many transitions for her. My mom just learned that the adoption fell through and she's still in the orphanage and constantly tells the social worker how bad she wants a family. I feel awful for her because not only did she lose out on the opportunity to be hosted, but her short-lived hope of a forever family quickly faded. Apparently she doesn't have a single person that visits her in the orphanage. My heart aches for her... and all the other children who want a family and have no outside support.

There are so many stories.

Confusing as Always

We have been anxiously waiting to hear from our facilitator about Ella's thoughts on adoption. She finally got back to us today. As always, nothing is perfectly clear.

"Hello,
I have checked with orphanage director today again about L and she couldn't
say 100% what L's plans are. According to her words she came up to see her
and asked about possible adoption, so she is aparently not against it. I
think we could talk to the director when Diane gets here, just three of us,
we can also talk to L about it as well.
Best wishes, Nastya"

It was very surprising to us that Ella would approach the orphanage director about adoption (if this is true). Like I mentioned before, she is in EXTREME denial that her aunt and uncle gave her up and appeared to be extremely attached to them when she was here.

Sadly, this makes me think that reality might be setting in. November marks 1 year since she's been in the orphanage, she said she absolutely hates it there. Poor girl.

My mom travels to Ukraine with Global Family Alliance (our hosting organization) in two and a half weeks!

Adoption Update

I haven't really written much about my families adoption status. Prior to hosting Alona in 2008, we were anticipating an adoption. Her gaurdians told the areas social worker in Ukraine that they would relinquish their rights. Unfortunately, this didn't happen. Once she returned we were told that "maybe we could adopt her when she was 15." That's the last we have heard but we still plan to host her every summer.
Our family decided to not let this discourage us, there are still plenty of other children in Ukraine waiting for a forever family. We decided to host Ella, who was just recently abandoned in November, hoping she would be looking for a family. We never implicitly asked her if she would like to be adopted, but we do know that she seemed very attached to her life before the orphanage and Ukraine in general. She seemed to be in denial of her current circumstances. Our adoption facilitator is going to talk to the orphanage director and Ella to see what she envisions for her future. My mom is also traveling to Ukraine in November with Global Family Alliance which might also help us get a better feel for things.

Pictures from the Summer

The girls when they first arrived.


Ella after her haircut.


Alona and I.


On our vacation in Arizona.


My sister and the girls having fun.


Some of the kids that were hosted.


Happy girls after a LONG day at Disneyland.


This picture CLEARLY shows how tired I was at this point!

Time Flies

A lot has happened since I blogged last. First of all, I GRADUATED with a degree in Finance.

More importantly, our girls came for 6 and half weeks this summer and returned home a couple weeks ago. Seeing Alona again was great, we missed her so much. In 2008, I wrote a note to her that said, "I'll think about you everyday and hope things are going well for you." After she left I wondered if I would actually live up to that statement. In retrospect, I definitely did. Even if it was just for a couple minutes, she crossed my mind everyday.

Alona has definitely grown up a little. Not so much in her looks, but her attitude. She has gotten a little more sassy. My sister and I are outspoken, opinionated, and slightly stubborn people so we welcome that in our house. But it was a little shocking at first coming from our little angel! Her happy and loving demeonor were still the same and after about 2 minutes it was like she had never left.

I fell in love with Ella just as I had falling in love Alona the summer before. Her personality was definitely different then Alona's though. My dad said it best when he told our facilitator, "Ella is a somewhat complicated girl, but we overcame those challenges and fell in love with her." She was at times extremely moody and stubborn. She is also VERY critical of herself and seems to lack confidence. At the same time though, she is SUCH a deep thinker, extremely smart, 100% aware of her surroundings, thankful, compassionate (once you break down her shell), and hilarious. She yearned so much for love and support. There were so many times when I wished I could communicate better with her...I had so much I wanted to tell her!

I miss them.

We went to Disneyland with the girls. It was SO much fun. One of the best moments in my life. Ella couldn't believe she was staying in a hotel. She was hyperventilating as we went up to our room. We did both parks, Disneyland and California Adventure, in 2 days. One day, we went from 7 am to 11 pm. We also visited my grandparents in Arizona and watched my sister play in a volleyball tournamant down there, it was 110 degrees out... we were basically in the pool or AC the whole time. SO HOT.

We had a tearful goodbye, as always. Alona was extremely emotional at the airport this year, which made it harder on us as well. She's very attached to our family and even started to call my parents "mom" and "dad."

I'll write about some specific memmories of the girls in my next blog.

Hosting plans for 2009!

We’re hosting a second child! Instead of just bringing Alona over this summer, we’re also hosting a second little girl named Eleonora. She is currently 12 but will turn 13 the day before she arrives. We’re so excited to meet her.

My family and I got innovative- with some painting, curtains, pictures, etc. we are slowly turning a corner downstairs into L’s room. A "corner" doesn't do the room any justice, it actually looks pretty good! Alona has a room upstairs that my mom usually uses as her playroom for daycare.

We have been busy shopping for the girls and getting everything ready. My mom and I love shopping, especially the sales racks. So that has been a lot of fun.

On a different note, school is a nightmare this quarter! To say the least, I am extremely busy and will continue to be until the end of the quarter. I’m counting down the days until I graduate… 42 days! Which means there’s only 50 days until our little girls arrive!

I’m also working on a PowerPoint presentation to talk about at the Global Family Alliance (the organization we host through) orientation meeting. I've been gathering a lot of information, both through the internet and other families who've traveled to Ukraine. Whenever I'm working on any projects, I love to get firsthand information. The credibility of the source is so valuable- there's clearly no better source than the good people who are helping the lives of orphans. Thanks to anyone who contributed.

Better get back to my financial statements.

I really really really want to go to America

My mom runs a daycare and is constantly looking for good deals on toys to add to her playroom. We found a good deal on a dollhouse on craigslist, so we decided to meet at the mall to make the trade. We could tell the lady was from Eastern Europe due to her accent, when we asked where, she said UKRAINE!!! It was such a coincidence, she had a lot of valuable information to share about her country and her struggles growing up there, it was very interesting. We ended up chatting forever. We became friends and she even offered to interpret a phone call to Alona with us.

We hadn't called Alona since October so we were so excited! Alona sounded great and hadn't been notified yet that she was for sure invited back to our house. When we told her, she was sooo happy, and said, "I really really really want to go to America."
The other cute thing that happened was this:
My mom: "Alona, I can't wait for a hug when you come to America."
Alona: "I come to America and you hug me."
First of all, great sentence. Secondly, how sweet.

We could also tell she had been trying hard to learn english, she gained a few more words. For example, "Booooring." (She said this when we were talking about our 16 hour car drive to Reno, Nevada last summer)
She also learned "hope"- she said, "I hope to swim when I come to America, I really really really like swimming." That's not a lie, that girl would swim for days if you didn't drag her out of the pool.