OUR GROWING FAMILY
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
A Mother's Point of View
Tonight our fifth child comes home.
I thought I would write a post to express my joy in being a mother to another child. I feel so privileged to have been blessed with Julianna in my life. Although Ted has kept this blog, I also wrote my own journal... I NEVER want to forget the glory of so many moments, both beautiful and heartbreaking. The joy I feel when I hear Julianna call me "mommy" and Ted "poppy" or the way she says, "I'm so happy I have family," is truly unexplainable. Every time we moved one step further in the process, you could tell she was truly relieved. Her biggest fear was that something would go wrong and we would be forced to leave her (not a chance).
Our daughter has a lot to discover in this world. Simple things, like windows being controlled by a button, was quite the novelty. Unfortunately for our sweet girl, life has never been easy, both before and after being in the orphanage. She has lived in the internat for 8 years of her life. In a village with nothing. Her life experiences have been small.
We cannot wait until she's home tonight. Finally, she will see what endless love means, what being a family means, and what forever means. She has so much to learn but we are so anxious to teach her and provide her with amazing life experiences.
I want to thank everyone for their endless support. Especially my daycare parents for their understanding and our entire family for accepting our new family member as one of us.
I have always known this is something I needed to do. Some people climb mountains or jump out of planes, but I feel my time in Ukraine has fulfilled all my goals. I will forever be grateful.
I thought I would write a post to express my joy in being a mother to another child. I feel so privileged to have been blessed with Julianna in my life. Although Ted has kept this blog, I also wrote my own journal... I NEVER want to forget the glory of so many moments, both beautiful and heartbreaking. The joy I feel when I hear Julianna call me "mommy" and Ted "poppy" or the way she says, "I'm so happy I have family," is truly unexplainable. Every time we moved one step further in the process, you could tell she was truly relieved. Her biggest fear was that something would go wrong and we would be forced to leave her (not a chance).
Our daughter has a lot to discover in this world. Simple things, like windows being controlled by a button, was quite the novelty. Unfortunately for our sweet girl, life has never been easy, both before and after being in the orphanage. She has lived in the internat for 8 years of her life. In a village with nothing. Her life experiences have been small.
We cannot wait until she's home tonight. Finally, she will see what endless love means, what being a family means, and what forever means. She has so much to learn but we are so anxious to teach her and provide her with amazing life experiences.
I want to thank everyone for their endless support. Especially my daycare parents for their understanding and our entire family for accepting our new family member as one of us.
I have always known this is something I needed to do. Some people climb mountains or jump out of planes, but I feel my time in Ukraine has fulfilled all my goals. I will forever be grateful.
Friday, June 4, 2010
*******BREAKING NEWS*******
I'm a couple of reports behind but I wanted to let everybody know that we completed the last step of the process yesterday at the US Embassy and we're coming home!
Diane and Jillian will arrive Saturday evening and I moved the flights up for Julianna and I to Sunday, arriving around 10:30 PM.
It's been a long and rewarding journey but home sounds really good.
Thank you for your support.
The Purvis Family
Ted, Diane, Jacob, Justine, Joseph, Jillian and Julianna.
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Thursday, June 3, 2010
Trip 2 Day 17
Tuesday June 1
Today was a whirlwind of a day. We started out at the birth certificate office next to the motel. Our role for the day was to try and keep up with Nastya, sit and wait until needed and then sign our names repeatedly without explanation.
The big surprise came at the bank where we found out that Julianna had about $25,000 grivna in her accounts (~ $3,000 USD). Not so surprising was that they wouldn’t give it to us saying that we needed to convene the guardian counsel of 12 people to all agree on it (yeah, right). Somehow, between multiple trips to the orphanage and children services to get papers signed we ended up with the money. We didn’t get many pictures today because of the hectic pace but the best would have been them handing Julianna a huge wad of money. She wanted to donate 4,000 to the orphanage for shoes, 500 to Valya and 500 to a girl named Sasha we never met so this was our last stop before leaving Schors.
During all this rushing around we met Julianna’s sister Oksana and nephew Danya outside the bank. She was very nice and we did get a few pictures of them together. It wasn’t the ideal way for us all to meet but at least they were able to say their goodbyes. We wanted to stop by the house that Julainna owns (or co-owns?) to get a picture but Nastya was in a big hurry to get to Chernigiv so she decided to skip that. We never signed any papers on this house so I don’t know what will happen with her share but that’s a minor concern at this point. Nastya informed us that the government was voting today on whether to ban all international adoptions from Ukraine. The supporters of this measure feel that too many adoptive families are not fulfilling their obligation to report back to the Ukraine on the child’s welfare post adoption. This may be true but we’ve seen first hand how they fare without adoption. Typical political nonsense but fortunately the measure did not pass.
I’m trying to figure out what we did in Chernigiv but it’s mostly a blur. We went to a notary and sat there forever and did some more signing, went to a government building for something else, searched and found a place to take her passport photo and actually got her Ukrainian passport to get her out of the country. The passport would normally be a 3 day wait followed by a 4 hour round trip drive from Kiev to get it but we magically transformed this into a 1 day process. My buddy Benjamin Franklin played a large role in this transaction.
We went to McDonald’s in Chernigiv which was very exciting for Julianna, and us too to be honest. We tend to forget that not only is she a small town girl but she’s been further isolated within that town. Most of the things we do are either new or rare experiences for her. Her McD’s order was a Big Mac, 6 piece Chicken McNugget, Large Fries and Large Coke. We have a 77 pound eating machine.
If McD’s was exciting, Kiev was mind blowing for her. We have a really nice apartment located in the heart of the city. Diane and Jillian are ecstatic over the washing machine and ice cube trays. This is a very vibrant and exciting area by Independence Square with many fountains, statues, colorful lighting and lots of people. Julianna has seen a few Ukrainian celebrities and she’s squealing with excitement. All she can say is “Wow!“
We’re ahead of schedule. Tomorrow we check in at the US Embassy and after that bring Julianna to her Medical exam. If all goes well we should be home earlier than expected!
I’m trying to figure out what we did in Chernigiv but it’s mostly a blur. We went to a notary and sat there forever and did some more signing, went to a government building for something else, searched and found a place to take her passport photo and actually got her Ukrainian passport to get her out of the country. The passport would normally be a 3 day wait followed by a 4 hour round trip drive from Kiev to get it but we magically transformed this into a 1 day process. My buddy Benjamin Franklin played a large role in this transaction.
We went to McDonald’s in Chernigiv which was very exciting for Julianna, and us too to be honest. We tend to forget that not only is she a small town girl but she’s been further isolated within that town. Most of the things we do are either new or rare experiences for her. Her McD’s order was a Big Mac, 6 piece Chicken McNugget, Large Fries and Large Coke. We have a 77 pound eating machine.
If McD’s was exciting, Kiev was mind blowing for her. We have a really nice apartment located in the heart of the city. Diane and Jillian are ecstatic over the washing machine and ice cube trays. This is a very vibrant and exciting area by Independence Square with many fountains, statues, colorful lighting and lots of people. Julianna has seen a few Ukrainian celebrities and she’s squealing with excitement. All she can say is “Wow!“
We’re ahead of schedule. Tomorrow we check in at the US Embassy and after that bring Julianna to her Medical exam. If all goes well we should be home earlier than expected!
Trip 2 Day 16 Monday May 31
The day involved a lot of waiting but it was all worth it in the end. We decided not to go to the orphanage until Nastya arrived and that happened around 3:30 PM. Julianna called during the wait and said the Director was telling her the 10 day wait wasn’t over and that her paperwork wasn’t in order so she probably couldn’t go today. I told her not to worry and just be quiet and wait. I have no idea why the Director would say this because we had no problems once we arrived and I gave her a “gift”.
We ended up staying at the orphanage for quite a while because Nastya had to run around completing paperwork. Sveta and Valya were crying most of the time and Julianna went from happy to sad and everything in between. I gave Sveta the extra Ukraine phone we had and we all tried to make her feel better. We hope to get Sveta and her brother on the GFA hosting list next summer so we can see them again.
We said our farewells and after checking Nastya into the hotel we went to the cemetery. The tradition is to put a specific number of flowers and candy on the grave so she did this for her dad, uncle and grandma. The cemeteries are very elaborate with many silk flowers and even small tables picnic tables at many of the graves. We were doing all this in the middle of a thunderstorm to add to the ambiance.
We ended up staying at the orphanage for quite a while because Nastya had to run around completing paperwork. Sveta and Valya were crying most of the time and Julianna went from happy to sad and everything in between. I gave Sveta the extra Ukraine phone we had and we all tried to make her feel better. We hope to get Sveta and her brother on the GFA hosting list next summer so we can see them again.
We said our farewells and after checking Nastya into the hotel we went to the cemetery. The tradition is to put a specific number of flowers and candy on the grave so she did this for her dad, uncle and grandma. The cemeteries are very elaborate with many silk flowers and even small tables picnic tables at many of the graves. We were doing all this in the middle of a thunderstorm to add to the ambiance.
After that we went to a different graveyard back in the woods. It was raining now and the area was very flooded. Here we placed flowers and candy on the adjacent graves of mom, grandma and grandpa. We weren’t able to stay long because of the mosquitoes. We hurried back to the hotel to get Jillian some antihistamine to try and mitigate her reaction to the bites. We wanted to meet Julianna’s sister but she wasn’t available so that will have to wait until tomorrow.
We all went to our favorite restaurant for our last dinner in Schors. We had a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Nastya was able to tell our waiter Misha that we were leaving and he asked her to find somebody to adopt him. He’s a nice guy, maybe Justine would be interested.
Back at the hotel Julianna and Jillian went to the shower room. No sooner had they started then we lost power in the entire building so that caused a little excitement. Diane went to their rescue with a small flashlight.
We’ve been working towards this day for a long time. It would be hard to overstate how good it feels to have her with us.
Back at the hotel Julianna and Jillian went to the shower room. No sooner had they started then we lost power in the entire building so that caused a little excitement. Diane went to their rescue with a small flashlight.
We’ve been working towards this day for a long time. It would be hard to overstate how good it feels to have her with us.
Trip 2 Day 15 Sunday May 30
Julianna’s last full day at the orphanage (knock on wood)! We went over for our morning visit and went up to the girls bedroom area. We’ve been getting a bad vibe up there recently and it didn’t change today. I think there are a lot of emotions involved with Julianna leaving and they’re all dealing with it in their own way. Fortunately, Sveta and Valya are sticking with her to the end.
There wasn’t much going on with the visit so I sat just outside the room and worked on the computer. I soon had a group of younger kids around watching me so I gave them the Ipod touch to keep them entertained. One girl wasn’t sharing very well so I eventually took it from her and passed it to a boy who was waiting. Apparently this irritated her because she gave the boy a good wallop. I’m not sure he noticed.
I think Julianna wanted to get us out of the bedroom area so we finished the visit outside kicking the soccer ball around. Diane suggested to Julianna that we not come for a second visit today because it seems to be making things more difficult for her. She said she had a lot to do anyway so it would be ok. It’s Dennees 16th birthday tomorrow so she wanted to go shopping for a gift and also go swimming.
Alona R walked over to the hotel again and Julianna, Sveta and Valya showed up a short time later to show us the gold chain they had bought for Dennees. We had some nice interaction amongst the girls with Alona helping with the interpreting and also answering some of their questions about America. Valya is starting to relax around us and we can tell she’s a real character. She graduated this year and supposedly is going on to some type of performing arts school with Kosta (dancing boy). We didn’t know they had any options so this was good to hear.
Alona’s folks showed up a little later and we headed to their place with a stop on the way to pick some fresh vegetables and strawberries. Once again they went to work preparing a great meal. The salads they make are especially delicious. They also know I like beer so Granny and I usually share a bottle. During the meal Uncle Wowza showed up with his whole family including the dog so it was nice to see them again. The little guy Vladic has an infectious laugh that seems to break out for extended periods of time for no apparent reason. When they were leaving to return to Chernigiv he refused to go so I was afraid Wowza was going to yank his ears off again. He finally left but returned a short time later by himself. I’m not sure how he worked that but I was glad to see him.
G & G left for a while to tend the animals so we were able to clean up from dinner. When they returned they wanted to play Uno. It was quite a scene with poor Alona trying to explain the game to them, Vladic bouncing all over the place laughing like a mad clown and Jillian freaking out every time she saw a mosquito. Diane and I were pretty much laughing the whole time at the general craziness.
It was getting late so we said our goodbyes to Alona and Vladic and left with G & G to return to the hotel. As we exited the building Grandpa came up turning the steering wheel and laughing like Vladic. The only problem was the steering wheel was no longer attached to the LADA. Fortunately, they both thought this was hilarious. The next challenge was to move the car out of the way and put it in their shed. Gramps and I were trying to turn the front tires by hand while Granny and Jillian pushed. The only problem was there was absolutely no communication between the motor (Granny and Jillian) and the steering team so that was pretty comical too. They would give a mighty push and I would jump in front and push the other way to avoid ramming the shed as Grandpa was trying to extract his arm from the wheel well.
With no other options we set off on the long walk home. They insisted on going with us and brought along their yappy little dog to terrorize other pedestrians. It was actually a pretty nice walk and by now I had a serious case of the giggles. I was thinking that this was a fitting end to our time here in Schors and I couldn’t wait to write about it. The good news is that Alona’s guardians are generous, good hearted, hard working people and we’re glad we got a chance to know them.
Tomorrow will be another eventful day. It should be our “Gotcha Day”, the day we take Julianna from the orphanage forever.
There wasn’t much going on with the visit so I sat just outside the room and worked on the computer. I soon had a group of younger kids around watching me so I gave them the Ipod touch to keep them entertained. One girl wasn’t sharing very well so I eventually took it from her and passed it to a boy who was waiting. Apparently this irritated her because she gave the boy a good wallop. I’m not sure he noticed.
I think Julianna wanted to get us out of the bedroom area so we finished the visit outside kicking the soccer ball around. Diane suggested to Julianna that we not come for a second visit today because it seems to be making things more difficult for her. She said she had a lot to do anyway so it would be ok. It’s Dennees 16th birthday tomorrow so she wanted to go shopping for a gift and also go swimming.
Alona R walked over to the hotel again and Julianna, Sveta and Valya showed up a short time later to show us the gold chain they had bought for Dennees. We had some nice interaction amongst the girls with Alona helping with the interpreting and also answering some of their questions about America. Valya is starting to relax around us and we can tell she’s a real character. She graduated this year and supposedly is going on to some type of performing arts school with Kosta (dancing boy). We didn’t know they had any options so this was good to hear.
Alona’s folks showed up a little later and we headed to their place with a stop on the way to pick some fresh vegetables and strawberries. Once again they went to work preparing a great meal. The salads they make are especially delicious. They also know I like beer so Granny and I usually share a bottle. During the meal Uncle Wowza showed up with his whole family including the dog so it was nice to see them again. The little guy Vladic has an infectious laugh that seems to break out for extended periods of time for no apparent reason. When they were leaving to return to Chernigiv he refused to go so I was afraid Wowza was going to yank his ears off again. He finally left but returned a short time later by himself. I’m not sure how he worked that but I was glad to see him.
G & G left for a while to tend the animals so we were able to clean up from dinner. When they returned they wanted to play Uno. It was quite a scene with poor Alona trying to explain the game to them, Vladic bouncing all over the place laughing like a mad clown and Jillian freaking out every time she saw a mosquito. Diane and I were pretty much laughing the whole time at the general craziness.
It was getting late so we said our goodbyes to Alona and Vladic and left with G & G to return to the hotel. As we exited the building Grandpa came up turning the steering wheel and laughing like Vladic. The only problem was the steering wheel was no longer attached to the LADA. Fortunately, they both thought this was hilarious. The next challenge was to move the car out of the way and put it in their shed. Gramps and I were trying to turn the front tires by hand while Granny and Jillian pushed. The only problem was there was absolutely no communication between the motor (Granny and Jillian) and the steering team so that was pretty comical too. They would give a mighty push and I would jump in front and push the other way to avoid ramming the shed as Grandpa was trying to extract his arm from the wheel well.
With no other options we set off on the long walk home. They insisted on going with us and brought along their yappy little dog to terrorize other pedestrians. It was actually a pretty nice walk and by now I had a serious case of the giggles. I was thinking that this was a fitting end to our time here in Schors and I couldn’t wait to write about it. The good news is that Alona’s guardians are generous, good hearted, hard working people and we’re glad we got a chance to know them.
Tomorrow will be another eventful day. It should be our “Gotcha Day”, the day we take Julianna from the orphanage forever.
Trip 2 Day 14 Saturday May 29
We spent both visits today in the large room playing with a lot of kids. School is over now so there’s a lot less kids here. For the last couple of days the kids have been scattered around the room working on puzzles or lego type kits. We’ve been happy to see some type of organized activity for them. The lady who watches over them seems to treat them well. Sometimes they don’t treat each other too well. One thing I’ve noticed is they can really take a punch, or slap, or kick, … It doesn’t seem to phase them at all.
We usually spend the time in there playing Uno. We hand out the notebook computer and my Ipod touch so other groups of kids can play games on those. The fishing game on my Ipod seems to be very popular. The older girls try to run off the younger boys because they think they smell (they do) so we usually have to enforce a little niceness so everybody can be involved.
Alona walked from her apartment to the hotel and joined us during the second visit. I think the village kids hear a lot of bad things about the orphanage kids so if nothing else I think we’ve opened her eyes a little bit. She thought it was sad all these kids have no parents or anybody who cares for them. Alona’s guardians have told us tactfully how all the kids here use bad language and steal . That hasn’t been our experience at all as they’ve been very respectful of our stuff. I’m sure it’s just a good excuse to forget about them.
Alona left us at 6:30 PM to do her daily chore of walking the cows home and we walked to the foster home for some computer time. Little Nastya and a boy her age entertained Diane and Jillian while I got caught up and then we changed places and they checked Facebook. Cheered by this touch with home we headed back to the hotel to down a little food and get some rest.
We usually spend the time in there playing Uno. We hand out the notebook computer and my Ipod touch so other groups of kids can play games on those. The fishing game on my Ipod seems to be very popular. The older girls try to run off the younger boys because they think they smell (they do) so we usually have to enforce a little niceness so everybody can be involved.
Alona walked from her apartment to the hotel and joined us during the second visit. I think the village kids hear a lot of bad things about the orphanage kids so if nothing else I think we’ve opened her eyes a little bit. She thought it was sad all these kids have no parents or anybody who cares for them. Alona’s guardians have told us tactfully how all the kids here use bad language and steal . That hasn’t been our experience at all as they’ve been very respectful of our stuff. I’m sure it’s just a good excuse to forget about them.
Alona left us at 6:30 PM to do her daily chore of walking the cows home and we walked to the foster home for some computer time. Little Nastya and a boy her age entertained Diane and Jillian while I got caught up and then we changed places and they checked Facebook. Cheered by this touch with home we headed back to the hotel to down a little food and get some rest.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Trip 2 Day 13 Friday May 28
This turned out to be a full day. We went over to the orphanage in the morning and smoothed things over with Valya by giving her a shirt and a necklace. Probably not the right way to handle things but we don’t have a lot of time and we want to make Julianna’s last few days in the orphanage as painless as possible. In reality we’re past the 10 day waiting period but Nastya won’t be here until Monday so we must wait.
When we arrived back at the hotel Alona R and guardians were waiting for us. We spent the two hour break between orphanage visits in the hotel room with them. Granny had arranged that Alona R would join us for the second visit to the orphanage. This isn’t really how we wanted them to meet but it was out of our control. Alona R had never been to the orphanage before and she was very scared to go there so I’m not sure what Granny was thinking. The visit was awkward but they’re both really nice girls and I’m sure it will work out in the long run.
We hooked up with G & G again after the visit and drove to this fetid pond area. We didn’t know it but this was close to where the milk cows are pastured during the day and we were waiting for them to walk back to the village. During the wait I ate enough bugs to qualify as an appetizer for dinner and donated enough blood to earn some cookies and juice. It was really cool to see the whole herd of cows walking back to the village. Nobody was leading them, they just seemed to know where to go. We followed in the car and then Jillian, Alona and I got out and followed Rosa and Meilka home with Alona giving them an occasional swat to keep them going.
G & G were busy with the animals so I had Alona give me a tour describing everything while I videotaped her. I’m too citified to know what all the vegetables are and I was curious. In the process of taping I managed to run a tree branch into my eye so I’ll have to edit that part out to maintain a “G” rating. They fed us some strawberries from the garden that were probably the best I’ve ever had.
We went to their apartment and after a lot of preparation they fed us a great meal. It’s amazing how hard they work. Once again they wanted us all to spend the night but fortunately Jillian was swelling up so bad from her bug bites that we could say we needed to get back to the hotel to give her some medicine. We got back to the hotel around 11:30 PM for some much needed rest.
When we arrived back at the hotel Alona R and guardians were waiting for us. We spent the two hour break between orphanage visits in the hotel room with them. Granny had arranged that Alona R would join us for the second visit to the orphanage. This isn’t really how we wanted them to meet but it was out of our control. Alona R had never been to the orphanage before and she was very scared to go there so I’m not sure what Granny was thinking. The visit was awkward but they’re both really nice girls and I’m sure it will work out in the long run.
We hooked up with G & G again after the visit and drove to this fetid pond area. We didn’t know it but this was close to where the milk cows are pastured during the day and we were waiting for them to walk back to the village. During the wait I ate enough bugs to qualify as an appetizer for dinner and donated enough blood to earn some cookies and juice. It was really cool to see the whole herd of cows walking back to the village. Nobody was leading them, they just seemed to know where to go. We followed in the car and then Jillian, Alona and I got out and followed Rosa and Meilka home with Alona giving them an occasional swat to keep them going.
G & G were busy with the animals so I had Alona give me a tour describing everything while I videotaped her. I’m too citified to know what all the vegetables are and I was curious. In the process of taping I managed to run a tree branch into my eye so I’ll have to edit that part out to maintain a “G” rating. They fed us some strawberries from the garden that were probably the best I’ve ever had.
We went to their apartment and after a lot of preparation they fed us a great meal. It’s amazing how hard they work. Once again they wanted us all to spend the night but fortunately Jillian was swelling up so bad from her bug bites that we could say we needed to get back to the hotel to give her some medicine. We got back to the hotel around 11:30 PM for some much needed rest.
Trip 2 Day 12 Thursday May 27
Although we didn’t know it until we arrived it was “Last Bell” at the orphanage today. This is a ceremony signifying the last day of school and all the kids were dressed in their best clothes. Many of the girls had big white bows attached to their pigtails. We waited out front for a while with our usual group of followers. My buddy Vlade managed to delete all the videos off my Flip camera so I was happy I uploaded them to the computer last night. The nurse hauled Julianna off to take some medicine and she was very unhappy about that. She doesn’t know what it’s for but they tell her she has to take it to go to America. Maybe we can figure it out when Nastya gets back here Monday.
We crowded into the large room for the ceremony. There were a few speeches interspersed with song and dance routines. Julianna and Kosta (who I’ve been calling dancing boy) had a great extended dance routine. They handed out “diplomas” to the ninth graders and there were a lot of tears following the ceremony. This is the end of the line for them here. We tried to find out when they would be leaving and where they would go but Julianna doesn’t seem to know.
Afterward we went up to the bedroom area and we had Julianna put some gifts together for friends and teachers from stuff we brought. It’s always awkward handing out gifts because there’s never enough for everybody but I guess they’re used to it. Sveta started crying heavily during this time. I found out later she wanted to go and see her family but they wouldn’t let her. We believe Sveta and her brother were taken from the family due to alcoholism.
One of the teachers we gifted suggested we take Julianna with us back to the hotel for a visit. We’re still a little paranoid so we checked with Nastya and she thought it would be OK. We brought Sveta along as well to try and cheer her up. We worked on a puzzle and did some crafts in the room for a while then headed for the candy store. Julianna picked out an assortment of her favorite candies for Jacob, Justine & Joseph. A little later this turned into an assortment for Ted, Diane & Jillian. Sorrry! We’ll restock before we leave.
From here we walked to our restaurant. Julianna told us her mom worked there but not anymore because she died. It was fun to watch them study the menu and order. They had salad with imitation crab and chicken in it, pork with french fries and cappuccino. Julianna seems to like all food and meat in particular. I can’t wait to bring her to Costco.
We said our goodbyes and Pasha returned the girls to the orphanage. We accomplished our goal of making Sveta feel better but it may have been a mistake to take her with us. Julianna called us later and she was very despondent. She said “Valya no my friend”. I managed to figure out that Valya was upset that we’ve been lavishing all this attention on Sveta so she told Julianna they weren’t friends any longer. It doesn’t sound serious but we found out later that Valya cut herself as a result. We will do some damage control tomorrow.
Trip 2 Day 11 Wednesday May 26
Julianna called this morning to confirm we were at the hotel and then informed us she would be here in a few minutes. She and Sveta were out to buy flowers so they stopped by for a visit. We gave them some food and then let Julianna go through the post orphanage clothes we had brought for her. To say she was happy and excited would be an understatement. There were a couple items that were too large that she gave to Sveta otherwise the fit was good. She especially liked the white sweater but was worried about it getting dirty. Diane explained that we had a washing machine in America but Julianna corrected her and said that she would wash it in the sink. I also showed her a sleeping bag and inflatable mattress combination that I got from REI for her since I knew we would be short a bed. She tried it out and said “I am princess”.
Diane and Jillian wanted to get Sveta something so the girls headed to the “mall”. I decided to go to the store and try and buy soap and toilet paper. Usually I use hand signals to get my point across which worked fine for the soap but not so well for the toilet paper. The other shopping trip was more successful, and less embarrassing. They found a shirt, necklace and bra for Sveta and another bra for Julianna for the grand total of $17 usd. Jillian also used her money to buy a volleyball for the orphanage as they often use a soccer ball for this purpose.
We were given prime seats for the 3:30 PM show at the orphanage. I’m not sure if there was a specific reason for the show but they brought three kids in at the beginning and gave them some small gifts. Julianna was in a dance skit with Marina and also sang a solo in a different skit. It was a lot of fun and I got it all on video.
After the show we stayed in the large room and entertained many of the kids for the rest of our visit. We had different groups of kids playing games on our laptop computer, our small netbook computer and my Ipod touch. We also had two large inflatable punching balloons that we blew up and batted around. Jillian overinflated one of the them and Julianna wrapped her arms around it and said “Like Poppi (me)”. Of course Jillian thought this was hilarious but I got my revenge a little later when it exploded and scared them both.
Julianna seems to be worried about the fact that she has no fat on her. Jillian assured her we would take care of that when we got home. We’ve been trying to figure out what they eat here. Our conclusion so far is that they get some vegetables, fruit (at least in the summer) and plenty of starches. The older kids go to the store and buy junk food if they have money. The glaring omission seems to be protein. They don’t seem to get meat of any sort and when we asked Julianna she confirmed this to be true. They may get some protein from other sources but we haven’t seen it.
We had a bigger group than normal follow us out to the car for good bye hugs including some boys. Diane and Jillian have completely fallen for an approximately 12 year old boy named Misha and he was there as well. As you can probably tell it was a great day. Julianna told us many times how happy she is to have a family and go to America. We seem to be making some of the other kids happy as well so we have a sense of satisfaction mixed with the realization that we provide no long term solutions.
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Diane and Jillian wanted to get Sveta something so the girls headed to the “mall”. I decided to go to the store and try and buy soap and toilet paper. Usually I use hand signals to get my point across which worked fine for the soap but not so well for the toilet paper. The other shopping trip was more successful, and less embarrassing. They found a shirt, necklace and bra for Sveta and another bra for Julianna for the grand total of $17 usd. Jillian also used her money to buy a volleyball for the orphanage as they often use a soccer ball for this purpose.
We were given prime seats for the 3:30 PM show at the orphanage. I’m not sure if there was a specific reason for the show but they brought three kids in at the beginning and gave them some small gifts. Julianna was in a dance skit with Marina and also sang a solo in a different skit. It was a lot of fun and I got it all on video.
After the show we stayed in the large room and entertained many of the kids for the rest of our visit. We had different groups of kids playing games on our laptop computer, our small netbook computer and my Ipod touch. We also had two large inflatable punching balloons that we blew up and batted around. Jillian overinflated one of the them and Julianna wrapped her arms around it and said “Like Poppi (me)”. Of course Jillian thought this was hilarious but I got my revenge a little later when it exploded and scared them both.
Julianna seems to be worried about the fact that she has no fat on her. Jillian assured her we would take care of that when we got home. We’ve been trying to figure out what they eat here. Our conclusion so far is that they get some vegetables, fruit (at least in the summer) and plenty of starches. The older kids go to the store and buy junk food if they have money. The glaring omission seems to be protein. They don’t seem to get meat of any sort and when we asked Julianna she confirmed this to be true. They may get some protein from other sources but we haven’t seen it.
We had a bigger group than normal follow us out to the car for good bye hugs including some boys. Diane and Jillian have completely fallen for an approximately 12 year old boy named Misha and he was there as well. As you can probably tell it was a great day. Julianna told us many times how happy she is to have a family and go to America. We seem to be making some of the other kids happy as well so we have a sense of satisfaction mixed with the realization that we provide no long term solutions.
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Trip 2 Day 10 Tuesday May 25
We weren’t visiting Julianna until 4 PM today so went to the foster home to make some overdue blog updates. Their computer was broken but help was on the way so we visited with Pasha, Oksana and daughter Katya. We really feel welcome here and with Katya interpreting we were able to have a great conversation. Oksana knew Julianna before she went to the orphanage so we were able to fill in a lot of gaps in our background information. This is the last we’ll see of Katya as she’s headed to Odessa to prepare for her wedding. She was appreciative of our wedding gifts (collapsible colander, oven mitt, scrub brush & towels) saying that nobody else will have anything like it. I invited her to America and she said “I will dream of it and maybe some day my dream will come true.”
We went over to the orphanage at 4 PM and hung out with Julianna and her friends Sveta and Valia. Jillain gave Valia a bracelet she had made for her along with some shampoo, which is very hot item for the girls. We played some cards, looked at pictures of extended family on the computer and watched the beginning of High School Musical 3. With all this exposure I’ll probably dance my way off the plane if we ever get home. After looking at the pictures she said “I have a very big family”. The girls followed us out to the car and we hugged them all goodbye. Although the kids are often affectionate with each other I think they like this adult attention. Julianna has started squeezing me very tightly around the waist during the goodbye hug. Given that all our digestive systems are in an uproar this is a risky maneuver on her part.
She informed us that she will be dancing in a show tomorrow and we should arrive at 2:00 PM. She also asked me for 50 grivna (about $6) to buy flowers for the show. She’s getting the daughter thing down pretty quickly. We’re really looking forward to the show.
We’re starting to get a little depressed when we think about the long road still ahead of us. Jillian is having a difficult time dealing with the emotional challenges without the support of her friends and other family members. At the same time we realize that we’re very lucky that Julianna is so happy and loving. Most people don’t get this feedback so early in the process.
We went over to the orphanage at 4 PM and hung out with Julianna and her friends Sveta and Valia. Jillain gave Valia a bracelet she had made for her along with some shampoo, which is very hot item for the girls. We played some cards, looked at pictures of extended family on the computer and watched the beginning of High School Musical 3. With all this exposure I’ll probably dance my way off the plane if we ever get home. After looking at the pictures she said “I have a very big family”. The girls followed us out to the car and we hugged them all goodbye. Although the kids are often affectionate with each other I think they like this adult attention. Julianna has started squeezing me very tightly around the waist during the goodbye hug. Given that all our digestive systems are in an uproar this is a risky maneuver on her part.
She informed us that she will be dancing in a show tomorrow and we should arrive at 2:00 PM. She also asked me for 50 grivna (about $6) to buy flowers for the show. She’s getting the daughter thing down pretty quickly. We’re really looking forward to the show.
We’re starting to get a little depressed when we think about the long road still ahead of us. Jillian is having a difficult time dealing with the emotional challenges without the support of her friends and other family members. At the same time we realize that we’re very lucky that Julianna is so happy and loving. Most people don’t get this feedback so early in the process.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Trip 2 Day 8 Sunday May 23
Alona's family showed up at 9:00 AM for the trip to Chernigiv. Granny didn't seem too happy I'm not going if I'm interpreting her disgusted head shaking correctly. I was in excruciating pain from my knees last time I was stuffed into the back of the LADA so she'll have to get over it. Hopefully Diane and Jillian will have a fun and safe trip. I used the time after they left to do a little laundry so I don’t have to compete for line space with their unmentionables. I then went in search of phone cards. I needed minutes on the phone we’re going to leave with Alona R and Julianna needed some as well. Anyway I went to a store and the guy tried to help but for some reason it didn’t work out. I was wandering around aimlessly after that trying to come up with a plan when I saw some kids from the orphanage, dancing boy and a couple girls. They seemed happy to see me so I recruited them to help me find the cards. Mission accomplished!
I went to see Julianna at 11:00 and we played games on the computer. We tried this medieval quest type game called Fate she seemed to enjoy. Her character had a companion dog that she named Ted. It’s good to see she knows where I am in the pecking order.
This approximately 12 year old girl was resting her arm around my shoulder until she got embarrassed and left. The sadness that you try to guard against kind of hit me after that. Many of the kids are gone because they are “social orphans” and spend the weekends with whatever family they have. The kids that are here on the weekend are either true orphans or their families don’t take them out. There’s a lot of really nice kids here and they deserve to be bathed, and bandaged, and above all else, loved.
The afternoon visit was pretty quiet. I asked her earlier if I could bring her anything and she said ice cream, so I went to the store and tried to figure that out. The simplest things can be difficult. It took a while to figure out how to buy the right milk and mayo was a challenge too. This time a clerk in the store smiled at me and came around the counter and tried to help me as soon as I came in. I waved my hands at the cooler and she picked something out. I must have been pretty pathetic on my previous visit because usually they just look at you like you’ve got a third eye in the middle of your forehead. I don’t know if Julianna really liked the ice cream bar but she ate it and she definitely could use the calories.
The visit mostly consisted of her playing Fate, the game she was playing earlier. I came all this way for a computer geek! She was boring me so I broke out the Ipod touch and played checkers with some young girls. Eventually I let them take it and play amongst themselves.
Back at the hotel now and looking forward to the return of Diane and Jillian. I’m sure they’ll have some stories to tell. I’ll have Jillian guest blog and add a paragraph here at the end.
Jillian writes:
We made it all the way to Chernigiv with out grandpa falling asleep at the wheel on us but I was watching the rear view mirror to be sure. I was so excited to see Alona. As we walked into the apartment the table was set with tons of food. The adults sat at one table and the kids at the other. There was about 14 people sitting at our table. We started eating at 1pm… and finished at 6pm. Longest meal of my life. They poured me a glass of sook which is juice from a birch tree. It was alright, but I didn’t care for it so I stuck to the champagne. I tried to pull the whole switch-a-roo trick that my mom did with the milk at grandma and grandpas. It pretty much back fired. My moms had about ¼ left in it and I put it in front of me but within a couple minutes they came by and refilled it for me all the way up to the very top. I could tell mom was trying to contain her laughter. Through out the long and drawn out meal a couple people would get up from the table and disappear for a while. Alona took my camera and was taking pictures and came back to show me one of grandma sleeping on the bed. They all would take breaks to lay down! There was a girl there that is going to school to be an interpreter so she was able to translate questions that they had for us. They asked us many questions about how populated our area is, our minimum wage, if people grow there own vegetables or if we get them from a store, etc. One lady that was there told us she works in a lab of some sort and she only makes $120 a month and sometimes she doesn’t have enough money to buy milk or bread. This was considered doing well in Ukraine. It makes me feel horrible knowing they work so hard and don’t have enough money for food. I get the luxury of working outside in a pool and from two jobs I make almost double that in two weeks. It really puts things into perspective when I thought about that. They all asked for us to bring them to America. It really is as bad, if not worse here than I expected.
After a long day in Chernigiv I was ready to go back to our hotel and rest. Usually to go back to the hotel you take a right after the orphanage. We drove right past that turn. I was speechless and too exhausted to make any facial expression, but I looked at my mom and I knew what she was thinking. We ended up only staying at their apartment for maybe an hour. So we finally got to get back to the hotel and went to bed early to get a good long nights rest.
I went to see Julianna at 11:00 and we played games on the computer. We tried this medieval quest type game called Fate she seemed to enjoy. Her character had a companion dog that she named Ted. It’s good to see she knows where I am in the pecking order.
This approximately 12 year old girl was resting her arm around my shoulder until she got embarrassed and left. The sadness that you try to guard against kind of hit me after that. Many of the kids are gone because they are “social orphans” and spend the weekends with whatever family they have. The kids that are here on the weekend are either true orphans or their families don’t take them out. There’s a lot of really nice kids here and they deserve to be bathed, and bandaged, and above all else, loved.
The afternoon visit was pretty quiet. I asked her earlier if I could bring her anything and she said ice cream, so I went to the store and tried to figure that out. The simplest things can be difficult. It took a while to figure out how to buy the right milk and mayo was a challenge too. This time a clerk in the store smiled at me and came around the counter and tried to help me as soon as I came in. I waved my hands at the cooler and she picked something out. I must have been pretty pathetic on my previous visit because usually they just look at you like you’ve got a third eye in the middle of your forehead. I don’t know if Julianna really liked the ice cream bar but she ate it and she definitely could use the calories.
The visit mostly consisted of her playing Fate, the game she was playing earlier. I came all this way for a computer geek! She was boring me so I broke out the Ipod touch and played checkers with some young girls. Eventually I let them take it and play amongst themselves.
Back at the hotel now and looking forward to the return of Diane and Jillian. I’m sure they’ll have some stories to tell. I’ll have Jillian guest blog and add a paragraph here at the end.
Jillian writes:
We made it all the way to Chernigiv with out grandpa falling asleep at the wheel on us but I was watching the rear view mirror to be sure. I was so excited to see Alona. As we walked into the apartment the table was set with tons of food. The adults sat at one table and the kids at the other. There was about 14 people sitting at our table. We started eating at 1pm… and finished at 6pm. Longest meal of my life. They poured me a glass of sook which is juice from a birch tree. It was alright, but I didn’t care for it so I stuck to the champagne. I tried to pull the whole switch-a-roo trick that my mom did with the milk at grandma and grandpas. It pretty much back fired. My moms had about ¼ left in it and I put it in front of me but within a couple minutes they came by and refilled it for me all the way up to the very top. I could tell mom was trying to contain her laughter. Through out the long and drawn out meal a couple people would get up from the table and disappear for a while. Alona took my camera and was taking pictures and came back to show me one of grandma sleeping on the bed. They all would take breaks to lay down! There was a girl there that is going to school to be an interpreter so she was able to translate questions that they had for us. They asked us many questions about how populated our area is, our minimum wage, if people grow there own vegetables or if we get them from a store, etc. One lady that was there told us she works in a lab of some sort and she only makes $120 a month and sometimes she doesn’t have enough money to buy milk or bread. This was considered doing well in Ukraine. It makes me feel horrible knowing they work so hard and don’t have enough money for food. I get the luxury of working outside in a pool and from two jobs I make almost double that in two weeks. It really puts things into perspective when I thought about that. They all asked for us to bring them to America. It really is as bad, if not worse here than I expected.
After a long day in Chernigiv I was ready to go back to our hotel and rest. Usually to go back to the hotel you take a right after the orphanage. We drove right past that turn. I was speechless and too exhausted to make any facial expression, but I looked at my mom and I knew what she was thinking. We ended up only staying at their apartment for maybe an hour. So we finally got to get back to the hotel and went to bed early to get a good long nights rest.
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